All I want for Christmas is a Fiberglass Cow.

I know it's a strange thing to ask for. However, there have been requests that are more bizarre, I'm sure.

See, I’m fairly new to my neighborhood, city, state, and region. Everyday on my way to work, I pass by the Agricultural Department of NC State. Every morning I drive up a hill and around a bend and there are the cows. They look so happy to be out there. Sometimes I catch them when the tractor comes out, pulling I’m guessing to be cow feed. Cause they get real frisky when the tractor is out and they prance along side it and no word of a lie one started "skipping" and running along side it, like little kids do. Anyway, for the most part the cows make for nice scenery on my drive into work. Considering I lived outside of Boston most of my life, it's better to see cows than just miles of other irate commuters stuck in traffic.

One day I noticed some oxen in an earlier part of the drive. I spoke to one of my co-workers who travels the same route and he told me that they were heifers that some guy keeps as pets. Therefore, I've concluded that cows make great lawn ornaments. Making a cow a pet is just one step too far for me. I’ve killed a cactus before, so pets are not in my best interest. Unfortunately, when you live on a cul-de-sac, you don't get a lot of lawn. They wedge the land just so, that after you get the house and driveway on it, there's only space for weeds. Therefore, I figured I'd bolt the fiberglass cow to the roof and decorate it with Christmas lights. Now I know you think this is tacky, but keep two things in mind.

1. If I see tractors strung with Christmas lights on my ride home; then a cow is no big deal.


2. Tact is the ability to tell a man he has an open mind when he has a hole in his head.
   -Anonymous
   (Note: If you had a hole in your head, would you want someone to be honest or tactful?)