It Takes A Village

They say "It takes a village to raise a child." and they were not lying. I've learned that if you feed Kate 6 oz. /feeding rather than 4 oz.; she will feed less frequently and wake less frequently at night. I learned this when she was almost four months old, which means I'd been functioning on no more than 3 consecutive hours of sleep since the day she was born (except for the 2 weeks with my in-laws, who stole her away from me so that I could sleep). I also learned from a friend that I could set her sleeping schedule according to feedings. These are things that are not "instinctive" and none of the baby books I have address them. So I kept asking while on the brink of crying out of frustration "Where is my d*mn village?"

The immediate answer was that I had moved from my village of the Raleigh seven months prior. However, I had left the village of the East Coast that I was raised in. From Boston to Miami, I have friends and family that would have been more than happy to help raise Kate. Even some folks in Cali. Nevertheless, they were hundreds miles and a few time zones away. So I did what I do know how to do: prayed. I prayed that God would show me how to be a good and godly mother as well as show me examples of that in my new community.

And God, being as AWESOME as He is, answered. First the women's bible study I've been attending on Tuesday mornings addresses this in the study of Titus 2:1, 3-5.

But as for you, teach what accords with sound doctrine. ... Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior*, not slanderers or slaves to much wine*. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled*, pure*, working at home*, kind*, and submissive* to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.

*Those of you who know me, feel free to chuckle among yourselves.*

We're also grouped with other women who are in similar stations in life. I've also bit the pride bullet and am making plans to hang out with stay-at-home parents and their kids. I've signed up for Circle of Moms on Facebook. In addition, I can always call my mother, stepmother, mother-in-law, or sisters-in-law at anytime. So I have made my own virtual village and I know they will be there for Kate and me. And that feels really good!

PS. Stumbling across "The Diary of Elisabeth Koren; 1853-1855" also helped put life in perspective. Elisabeth leaves Norway at the tender age of 21 as a new bride to Reverend Ulrik Vilhelm Koren, who was called to service in the Iowa settlements. She pens descriptions of life in this new wilderness as she crosses the Atlantic, the United States frontiers, and the emotional odyssey of being in a foreign land with a new husband and a baby on the way without a home to call her own. (All in a time when there was no Wal-Mart or Target to run to at midnight.)

So I thank God for all the Elisabeth Korens that have gone before me to make my path a little bit easier and for sharing their stories to make my heart a little bit lighter.